


I Can Make You A(n Honest) Man

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Kylux Cryptids AU [19]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Addams Family References, Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Biting, Brendol Hux Is Not Evil, Disabled Character, Dysfunctional Family, Family Issues, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, Kylo Still Has The Force, Las Vegas Wedding, Letters, Light Dom/sub, Lovecraft References, M/M, Military Uniforms, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Muscles, Music, Post-Coital Cuddling, Prostate Orgasm, Rocky Horror Show References, Switching, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Uniform Kink, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9292793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: Kylo proposed to Hux way back in 'Memorials', its high time they finally made it Las Vegas right? A nice, quiet, stress-free wedding would be perfect wouldn't it? Oh dear...





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey Hux, what would you do if the car broke down…”

“We can’t stop here.” Hux said seriously, waving one hand at the distant bulk of Las Vegas shimmering in the heat haze. “This is bat country.”

“Ha ha. No, I mean hypothetically, if the car broke down on a rainy night…” Kylo continued, speaking around a mouthful of beef jerky and Cheetos, “...on a lonely, creepy road and you couldn’t repair it but you saw that in the velvet darkness, of the blackest night…”

“If this is a circuitous way of asking whether I’d go up to Frank-N-Furter’s house, let me just say that I am **_deeply_ ** offended that you’d assume I didn’t already have an invitation.”

Kylo laughed, then choked on his soggy mouthful of snack food. How he'd made it to 28 without learning how to eat properly was an enigma to add to the world of other mysteries that so often left Hux baffled.

Keeping his eyes on the road Hux thumped his foolish fiancé on back.

“Urgh, thanks.” Kylo wheezed. “So you're saying you're a muscle fa-an?” He tried to sing the last part but mostly just coughed.

“Oh no, of course not,” hux deadpanned, “no, I’ve totally spent the last twenty two months living with a man who works out three hours a day as a combined insurance scam slash charity case. The fact that you can lift me with one arm isn't sexy in the least and I definitely haven't laid awake for hours of a morning just staring at your eight pack. Nope, definitely not. Frankly, I should get some kind of humanitarian of the year award for consenting to let you show off that physique by fucking me twice a day.”

There was nothing but a rustling noise for the passenger seat for a minute. Hux wondered if he'd gone too far.

An object appeared at the edge of his vision. Kylo had twisted several candy wrappers and the straw from his Sprite into the shape of a surprisingly realistic blown rose.

“Ahem.” Kylo turned to him with exaggerated solemnity. “The Institute For The Preservation Of Muscle Bound Psychics hereby presents the first annual Cum Dumpster Award for Charitable Cock Sucking to General Major Donal Armitage Deepthroat Hux for his services to my libido and hotel laundry everywhere.”

It was a good thing the roads in Nevada were straight because Hux laughed so hard he couldn't see through his tears for the next two miles. He did however eventually manage to accept the ‘award’ with something like dignity and arranged it in pride of place on the dashboard.

* * *

“I wanted to stay at Treasure Island,” Kylo pouted as they pulled up to the valet station at the Mandalay Bay hotel.

“Oh don't pout, we both know that would have been a terrible idea.”

“No it wouldn't!”

Hux turned off the engine and raised an eyebrow. “I can't believe I'm saying this but, literally, ‘look in a mirror’.”

“Those pirates wouldn't have red hot swords though!” Kylo said defensively, as if his cousin having _had_ a red hot sword was somehow a normal state of affairs.

“Please stop talking.” Hux had never thought that “don't try this at home kids” needed adding to Pirates of the Caribbean. Now he was considering writing it on the TV screen as a constant reminder. Though you'd think a scar that ran from eyebrow to bicep would serve that purpose well enough on its own.

While Kylo lectured the bored looking attendant on the proper care of his precious vintage car Hux emptied the trunk. Kylo’s suit cover had ‘Donal- Don't Look’ chalked on it. That was… not reassuring to say the least. One of the other bags was almost too heavy to lift. It clinked and sloshed ominously as a bellboy took it from Hux’ hand. What was Kylo up to now?

They were met at the reception by a cheerful but slightly oily man who’d clearly recognised the name of Hux’ grandfather on the booking and was determined to impress. The pair were informed that their guests were already waiting and led up to a suite that frankly made Donal slightly nervous with its extravagance.

When he'd first raised the matter of his engagement with his grandfather- as per his inheritance agreement- Sheev had seemed enchanted with the idea of a small Vegas wedding, and had offered to pay for their rooms as a gift. If he'd thought about it, Hux would have expected a couple of small standard rooms, maybe with a queen bed and a minibar, not this two bedroom penthouse suite with panoramic views of the city. It was a bit overwhelming given the discount nature of the wedding itself.

Finn and Poe were waiting on the terrace, cocktails in hand and odd expressions on their faces. While Poe and Kylo did their usual backslapping and circling routine, Hux pulled Finn to one side.

“Did you manage to get it?” He hissed quietly, turning the smaller man away from the others to cover the question.

Finn bit his lip, the nervous cast of his features increasing for a moment before he pulled himself up and squared his shoulders. “I did, Sir, but I wasn't comfortable shipping it with FedEx so I…”

“Really Finn what have I told you about calling me..”

“It's in your room, Sir, there.”

Hux narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Finn held his gaze. With his legs still stiff from hours of driving, Hux turned awkwardly on his heel and wrenched open the indicated door. There was his garment bag as promised, with his dress and mess uniforms. In the hands of his father.

“Major Hux.”

Hux swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Major General Hux. Commandant, Sir, it's good to see you.”

“Your stepmother sends her regrets.”

The breath Hux hadn't even noticed he was holding left him in one relieved sigh that left him slightly dizzy. Behind him he heard Kylo mutter, “thank fuck for that.”

“I uh, wasn't expecting you, Sir, I'd planned for just the four of us,” Hux said, gesturing at the other three men behind him.

“Captain Adegboyega here has liaised with your grandfather to ensure all six of us are properly accommodated, do not that worry about that.”

“Six?” Hux asked at the same moment Kylo turned to the other bedroom door with horror in his eyes and hissed, “if Leia’s in there I’m setting fire to the suite.”

“Hey! Not cool man!” Rey said indignantly as she peered around the door jamb.

“I know you wanted to keep it small, Be… Kylo,” Poe began, rolling his eyes at himself in irritation at the name slip, “but it didn't seem right- Donal having family here and you not. Don't worry, I didn't actually tell Leia and Han. You can do that yourself.”

Kylo made a rude noise and stomped over to the bar to melodramatically unpack the contents of the heaviest bag. It apparently contained more alcohol than even six people could survive drinking in one night. Hux glanced at Finn who gave him a covert thumbs up. He nodded in acknowledgement. Good, at least the one part of the night he had control over was still in place.

“Don't get grumpy again Kylo, the limo will be here in two hours, can we at least be civil for now?”

“‘m not grumpy, I…” he sniffled quietly, “I… I just didn't think anyone would want to come.”

Hux, Rey and Poe stepped forward at the same time, each with the same sympathetic expression but surprisingly it was Hux’ father who reached him first.

Brendol Hux was a large man, almost as tall as Kylo, and the sort who seemed merely fat until they were given cause to demonstrate their speed or strength. His hair was still mostly red despite his age, though his facial hair had always tended towards grey on the rare occasions that Hux had seen him with stubble. Hux sometimes wondered when his own beard would follow suit.

There was something disconcerting about seeing his father in civilian dress with an arm slung around his fiancé’s shoulders while he spoke quietly into his ear. Not wanting to hear whatever advice his father was giving out, Hux took that as the signal to leave the room and get dressed.

* * *

There was a tap at the door. Just one, quiet and efficient, not a persistent hammering of fists or an impromptu drum solo. Not his fiancé then.

“Whoever that is, go away, I don't want Kylo to see me yet!”

“He's already gone,” his father said through the door, “he didn't want you to see him either. Does that make you both the bride?”

Why had Finn done this?! Why? Of all the people to invite to his wedding, why did it have to be Brendol?!

“Forgive me, that was crass.” The old man continued. Hux felt the comb drop from his boneless fingers at what was probably the first apology to come from that mouth in 32 years. “May I come in? Please?”

Hux strode to the door, his limbs loosened by a hot shower and the slow release pain meds he'd taken, and pulled it open to find his father waiting with an oddly nervous expression. The man was in shirt sleeves, as was Finn on the other side of the suite. Hux was grateful that they'd at least heeded his request not to let Kylo see the full dress uniform.

“May I speak with you?”

No. Go away. “Yes Sir, please, come in.”

Brendol snorted slightly as he threw his own suit bag onto the bed. “I almost told you to call me by my name then…”

“That would have been odd after three decades, Sir.” Hux agreed, turning back to the mirror. He hadn't worn his hair smoothed back since the day he woke up in the First Order hospital and somehow all the years of muscle memory had deserted him now.

“I uh… I’m sorry, Donal. For, well, everything.” There was a silence punctuated by a series of tiny cracks as Hux’ clenching fingers snapped the plastic teeth from the comb. He'd never expected to hear that. “I’ve wanted to say this for a long time but…”

 _But you're an arsehole with the emotional depth of a puddle and interpersonal skills to match,_ Hux finished for him in the privacy of his own head.

“I’ve never told you how proud I am of you, have I?” Brendol appeared to be trying to give him a heart attack.

“I always understood myself to be an embarrassing disappointment to you, Sir. You suggested as much at my graduation when I informed you of my intentions regarding the army.”

Brendol sat heavily on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. Perhaps Hux would have felt more regretful at inciting his father's reaction if he hadn't spent most of his life feeling guilty for existing.

“I was angry at Sheev for ever showing you those films and paying for your daredevil hobbies. You were such a delicate child, I couldn't risk losing you…”

“Delicate? You mean ‘thin as a slip of paper and just as useless’?”

If Brendol’s face could have turned any greyer he'd have been transformed into stone. “You heard that?”

“Amongst other things.”

The silence returned to grow between them, angry and uncomfortable. Hux wasn't going to be the one who broke it.

“My parents disowned me for marrying your mother.” Brendol admitted, shattering a life long belief that they'd died before Donal’s birth. It wasn't something he'd ever looked into. Beyond his grandfather he felt very little attachment to the concept of family. But it was still a surprise. “The only contact I've had with them since that day was a note that read ‘we warned you’ when she left me alone with you.”

“Hardly alone, Sir,” Hux interjected, the lingering echoes of an abandoned child compelling his adult voice to twist the knife. “There was the long parade of nannies before your wife sent me to boarding school, and then there were plenty of housemasters to keep me in line there.”

“Would you have rather I left you with Maratelle?” Brendol snapped before he met Donal’s eye. The older man seemed to sag into his frame. “No, you'd have rather I not bring Maratelle into your life at all. I thought a growing boy needed a mother figure without…”

“...considering whether the figure in question might be better suited to a role as a Disney villain?” Hux suggested. “I can't blame her, she told me the day I left for school that you never even warned her of my existence. You just assumed she'd want another woman's child because it was yours.”

“I'm sorry. I… I had no idea what I was doing.” Brendol sounded like he was close to tears but Hux has no intention of turning to look. “But despite my failures, look at you. You made Major at 29. One of the most decorated para officers in the history of the regiment.”

“And now here I am with none of that and two busted knees.”

“Here you are a published science-fiction author and about to marry a man who clearly thinks the world of you. How it ended doesn't erase what you achieved.” Brendol said, climbing up from the bed to stand at Donal’s shoulder. Donal wasn't about to correct his father's assumptions about the ‘fictional’ nature of his writing. “I’m sorry I didn't visit you in the hospital. The initial communication I received was that your legs were gone and I’m ashamed to admit my first thought was an all consuming wish to kill your grandfather for putting you in that situation.”

“I won't deny that A Bridge Too Far changed my life, Father, but I was an adult when I joined up, Sheev didn't force me to do anything.”

“I’m afraid I've always had trouble separating your existence as an independent adult from my memories of you as child.” Brendol shrugged. “It's a terrible failing. By the time Captain Adegboyega was able to relay your actual condition you'd started a romance with your roommate and I didn't want to interfere; despite his identity. Then somehow time escaped me and then next thing I knew I was receiving your engagement photographs.”

Hux had lost the thread of the conversation. The past was best left to itself. “What did you say to Kylo? Out there.” He clarified with a nod of his head toward the main room.

“Just a few things on disappointing fathers and the value of one’s chosen family.”

Hux decided not to comment on Brendol’s own choices given his fraught relationship with his stepmother.

“I met Kylo once,” Brendol continued, “back when he was still Ben Solo and his mother was just a senator with a possibly criminal husband. I’ll never forget the haunted look in his eyes while his mother talked about the ‘mysterious’ fire at his boarding school. When I heard that you were involved with him I was concerned. For all of five minutes. If ever there was a man equipped to deal with his eccentricities it would be you.”

Donal laughed then, some of the tension finally beginning to seep out of his shoulders. “Father, you have no idea.”

“I barely recognised him the first time you posted a photograph on Facebook.”

“Well a hundred pounds of muscle and several thousand dollars of tattoos will do…” Wait. He hadn't used his Facebook in four years, how had Brendol seen…

Instagram.

Oh no, he must have accidentally linked his Instagram to his Facebook.

Very slowly Hux put his hand over his mouth. It was half muscle photos and half random paranormal shit with a few arty nude “legs tangled in bed” shots that he hadn't been able to resist. Yes the contrast between his scarred skinny legs and Kylo’s tattoo’d muscles had been gorgeous... but oh sweet Odin’s raven, he'd posted all of them to Facebook.

“Well yes, I did see rather more of that than I might have wished,” Brendol continued.

Oh help. Loki, Pan, Hecate, Cthulhu, Yog-Sothoth, whoever might be listening, help!

“But I meant the bright happy smile…”

This time the knock at the door damn near shook the frame. “Hey! Guys! The limo is here!”

Ah! Who knew Rey was Lovecraft’s infamous Lurker at the Threshold? Hux vowed to eat a blue steak as tribute in thanks to Yog-Sothoth for the assist. That had not been a conversation he wanted to continue.

* * *

They'd had a small argument about this. Nothing more than a tiff really.

Hux had called it bridal. And then made several mostly-unnecessary statements about his particular brand of sexuality.

It wasn't that Kylo didn't see where he was coming from. Hux was the smaller of the two, at least in terms of mass, but he wasn't in any way effeminate. Or a twink. Or any of the other unkind things he'd somehow imagined people thought of him, despite a decade in the army and one of the scariest RBFs that Kylo had ever seen.

How he'd gotten there from ‘I’d like it if you walked down the aisle towards me’ Kylo would never really know.

Kylo had never thought he'd get married. Leia had talked about it a little when he was still a child and still presumed straight, though it had been mentioned less and less after the summer house fire until it became only a negative. It all just turned into hand waving and ‘oh I'm sure Ben will never marry’ or ‘it's a blessing that he's single’. While Han had freaked out over his orientation- or rather his discovery of him at college inflagranti with Poe- his mother had simply shrugged and sighed in relief. When the political winds turned towards legalising gay marriage she'd supported it with a sort of nervousness that suggested she was happy for anyone but her son to get it.

That had hurt, more than he could ever have explained, but more so because he understood her reasons. He was ‘troubled’, he had been the sort of violent teen who ended up as nothing more than a mugshot and a late night news story. When he'd left home and kept on travelling, making friends who knew and understood him for his real self, Leia had just seen a ‘wayward’ and ‘directionless’ waster. She hadn't seen that he was finding his own sanity after years without an outlet for circumstances he couldn't possibly explain. ‘A ghost repeatedly possessed me for over a decade and tried to make me do horrible things’- who would ever believe that?

Hux would. Hux did. Hux understood him like no one else ever had.

Kylo could see his fiancé’s silhouette through the glass of the wedding chapel door and he was already fighting back tears.

Rey and Poe squeezed through the partially open door, careful not to open it too far and give away whatever surprise Hux had waiting for him.

He nodded and tugged at his suit, fitfully smoothing the pinstripes while he blinked. His eyeliner better not fucking run before they'd had any pictures taken at all.

They hadn't discussed colours or themes beyond choosing the ‘spooky gothic deluxe’ wedding chapel out of all the cheesy options Vegas had to offer. Without flowers and table settings and all the other wedding industry garbage there hadn't seemed to be much point. Hux had stated immediately that he had something he'd always dreamed of wearing so they both agreed to choose their own outfits and leave it at that.

Kylo hoped Hux would get the reference with his suit. For as long as he could remember the thought of ‘true love’ had brought up one specific mental image and while he knew Hux wouldn't be wearing it's pair, Kylo couldn't imagine wearing anything else.

The officiant coughed. The music started. Kylo’s vision turned fuzzy.

He'd practically melted when Hux handed him his CD of ceremony music and he'd realised they’d both chosen the same song. It was too old for Kylo’s usual tastes and too soft of Hux’ and yet… it was perfect.

 _Come into these arms again_ __  
_And lay your body down_ __  
_The rhythm of this trembling heart_   
Is beating like a drum

The doors opened, the Commandant and Finn holding them open for Hux to march in. Literally. He was wearing a uniform. But not the camo of the few service photos he'd shared over the years. This was dark blue with a white belt, a burgundy beret and a genuine row of medals.

Kylo swallowed and willed the tears to stay put as he grinned. His fiancé looked amazing. For some reason he felt like he should be standing at attention. Shifting his hips slightly he hoped that no specific parts of his anatomy would take the challenge of that particular thought. Not at least.

The love theme from Dracula echoed through the room while their four guests took their places.

“You look fantastic, mon cher,” Hux murmured when he drew level, one white gloved hand trailing down the sleeve of Kylo’s replica Gomez Addams suit before he wound their fingers together.

Okay, now he was crying.

* * *

“That was surprisingly beautiful,” Rey began from her position squeezed into the side seat of the limo. She looked strange in her pale linen dress, sandwiched between the dark uniforms of Hux’ father and Finn. Sitting on the other side of Brendol- and looking like an extra from the original version of Miami Vice- Poe laughed when she continued- “for a cheesy Vegas wedding conducted by a man dressed as Lestat de Lioncourt, at least.”

Hux snorted and squeezed Kylo’s hand. They hadn't let go once since the ceremony started. If Kylo had his way they’d never let go again.

In terms of the wedding Kylo supposed he wouldn't have an opinion of his own until they watched the video back later.

He'd been determined that he would remember every single microsecond of it- every word, every gesture. But even in the moment all he could see was Donal’s brilliant smile. They must have completed their vows- they were legally married now after all- but he didn't remember any of the words he'd repeated after the officiant’s prompts. He'd been floating on autopilot and too blissed out to concentrate.

A flash went off, making him jump.

“Cute, you look like _An Officer and A Gentleman_ meets _The Addams Family_ ,” Poe said after a moment of studying his phone. “You don't really look like **you** though…”

“Hmm…” Finn nodded with a glance at the screen. He was distracted by something beyond the tinted glass of the windows. “That's because it looks like Major Hux just stepped off a plane and is gearing up to give us all a bollocking for having poorly turned out kit.”

“What?” Hux bristled slightly at that.

“He’s right you know,” Kylo said a while, staring at him with a thoughtful tilt to his head. “You don't look like you. I mean you shaved and everything.”

“You don’t like…”

“I didn't say that, now did I?” Kylo countered, grabbing the hand that rubbed self consciously at Hux’ jawline. “You look amazing whatever you do, it's just that you’d look so much more like the man I proposed to if…”

Pinning both of Hux’ hands with one of his huge paws, Kylo quickly tugged the regimental beret off the neatly gelled ginger hair and passed it respectfully to the Commandant. Hux had only just begun to squeak in protest when Kylo sank his fingers into his hair and roughly tousled it.

“Oi! You cheeky little…”

To cut off the impending torrent of complaints Kylo kissed him. His tongue got slightly bitten in the process but it was more than worth it.

“...I can't believe…”

Nope, still bitching. More kisses required.

“Oh, hey, wow, look guys, it's Freemont Street.” Finn deadpanned after a moment, clearly uncomfortable with the tongue wrestling going on in the back seat.

“Well spotted Captain, let's all look at that.” Brendol added with such an identical tone of feigned disinterest that Hux had to push Kylo away so he could laugh without choking.

Kylo followed the others’ gaze. They hadn't really been paying attention to the strip when they arrived in town during daylight. But now that the sun had set, the massive illuminated canopy left him speechless.

“You know,” Hux said behind him, “that’d make an amazing backdrop for a wedding photo. To complete the Vegas experience I mean.”

“Yeah, but look at how crowded the street is, we’d never get a decent shot…”

“Not on the sidewalk,” Rey offered, “but if you leaned out of the sunroof…”

Everyone looked up. Brendol tapped on the privacy screen to get the driver’s attention.

* * *

Now, hanging out at limousine roof looks like fun. And it is. For slim young women deep into their cups. Hux however was intensely aware than he and Kylo were fullgrown men, and in Kylo’s case had grown an extra seventy percent for the sheer hell of it. Also, though he couldn't speak for his new husband, he was also stonecold sober. Which is to say that it was a very tight uncomfortable squeeze.

After about thirty seconds of struggling Hux had been ready to call it a day and give up on the admittedly cute idea when he heard his father offering the driver full payment for any damages. The next thing he knew he was perched on the roof of the limousine, blinking stupidly in the light of the casino signs. Apparently Kylo had used his talent to propel him out of the vehicle. It couldn't have been an elegant exit but it was certainly more dignified that Kylo hauling his bulk up through the narrow opening.

Though he managed not to laugh Hux couldn't help thinking rather loudly that Kylo deserved it for mussing up his hair. Kylo just winked at him and sent him some very obscene mental images. Thank god the others will still working out the logistics of photo-taking and thus failed to notice the frantic readjustment of his uniform.

“You look amazing,” Kylo murmured, crowding close with an unopened bottle of champagne in his hands.

The neat lines of Kylo’s own suit were already falling into his usual disreputable appearance. His tie was loose and his sleeves were rolled up like it was the Eighties all over again. Hux could just see the tattoo of Kylo’s grandfather’s signature- the man who'd bequeathed the ring he now wore- on one arm and the summer house inspired Hosier quote on the other. Somehow it felt like the bookends of their relationship so far surrounding him. He wondered what Kylo would say about the tattoo he planned to get over his heart tomorrow.

“Well, I’m getting that adorable little crown over mine,” Kylo whispered, poking the rank insignia on his shoulder.

“It's not adorable, thank you very much, it's a highly respected symbol of rank with a hundred…” Hux trailed off as he spotted Kylo’s grin. He flicked his spouse on the nose. “You're an arse.”

“And I love your ‘arse’,” Kylo drawled, mocking the Britishism. “Now, shall we open the champagne? For the pictures? I don't know the liquor laws here but I’m sure if drinking _in_ the limo is okay then so is drinking _on_ it.”

“We can, but I can't drink it.”

“What? Why not?”

“Ok guys!” Rey shouted from her slightly uneven perch on Finn and Poe’s shoulders. “We’re ready! Hurry up before I break my fucking neck!”

Not wanting to reveal his personal plans to everyone Hux whispered his surprise in Kylo’s ear. Which was why eleven of the twelve photos Rey took involved Kylo’s tongue down his throat. The twelfth was an upside down picture of the Strip and Brendol’s shoes.

Rey didn't mind the fall at first- at least the boys had caught her. Until a video of it showed up on Vine overlaid with comic sound effects. She was much less happy about that. It was a mystery where Kylo had even gotten it from.

[Art by[ BoredByReality](http://boredbyreality.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr]

* * *

 

“I’ve never actually done karaoke,” Finn said nervously once they were settled in their private room at J Karaoke and had ordered way more food than six normal people should be able to eat. Of course any group that included Kylo and Finn was going to consume far more calories than would seem possible, but Hux knew it was going to be Rey that out did them all. Where that girl put food was a mystery for the ages.

“Oh come on Finn,” he laughed while Kylo and Poe argued over the track listings, “you played Guitar Hero in the mess with us all the time!”

“Yeah, but that's like… with the lads. I didn't do stuff like that at home.”

“Well, what did you sing at home?” Brendol asked in an encouraging tone, ever the educator trying to draw people out of their shells. With less shouting and marching drills this time.

“Hymns, mostly.”

“Ah.”

An uncomfortable silence tried to develop then, but Poe squashed it with a display of enthusiasm for his boyfriend, pulling him away to sort out a round of cocktails. Finn intercepted the one handed to Hux and switched it for Sprite.

“Okay, well since you’ve never done karaoke,” Poe continued once everyone had a beverage, “I’m going to take you on a journey through the 80s and you can sing backing, because you’ll probably know these songs even if you don't realise you know them.”

“Is this a journey to return that suit to its rightful owner?” Rey teased.

“Fuuuuck yooooou,” Poe sang as the opening bars of _Escape (The Pinã Colada Song)_ echoed through the room.

“I feel I should point out that this is from 1979,” Brendol said over his glass of Guinness. “At least _I_ picked something from the Eighties!”

Hux started ahead in horror at both Poe’s lounge singer dancing and the realisation that his father intended to take part. The horror only deepened when Rey _and_ Kylo got up to join him for the chorus of _Don't Stop Believing_ . Which then led into the cousins giving a passionate rendition of _Runs In The Family_ , before Kylo inexplicably segued into _1985_ . That was a song that even Hux knew the lyrics to and the horror began to dissipate as everyone made a spirited attempt at singing along. Of course after that Hux had to bring the metal credentials out with _The Trooper_ \- with Finn, and surprisingly his father, on air guitar- and the night descended into wild but good natured oneupmanship.

Hux couldn't really imagine any other situation that this where Metallica, Gloria Estefan, Bats For Lashes and Status Quo would all be met with equal enthusiasm. It really was the perfect stag-party-slash-wedding-reception.

Until Kylo sang _Whiskey In The Jar_ to him like it was a love song. In retaliation for being called ‘Molly’, he sang _One Caress_ and triggered a mass bathroom break as everyone else fled the make out session. Suddenly the party seemed like a barrier to something more.

They would find out later that Poe had intended to break the mood with a sarcastic rendition of _I Think We’re Alone Now_ but by the time the others returned, the newlyweds had already gone.

* * *

“You're seriously going to fuck me?” Kylo murmured against Donal’s ear in the back of the limo. He'd left money with the bartender to get the others back to the hotel, but damn it he had to get his husband back there right now. “I thought the logistics…”

“I can't really kneel for long, and some of the movements are going to be a challenge,” Hux said quietly while he tried and failed to keep Kylo's hands under control, “but… this is our wedding night. It's worth it. I want to do everything with you. Like we would if we weren't broken. I don't want to give myself these injections often, but for now… fucking hell, Kylo this is the least sexy conversation I can think of...”

He trailed off and sank into Kylo’s overexcited kiss for a moment before Kylo pulled away. “You specifically planned our wedding day so we could have fantastic sex afterward and you think that's not sexy as all hell?”

“I fear you might be overselling it…” Hux sighed.

“And I think you're an idiot…”

“Delightful.”

“How about we just make out until we get back to the hotel?” Kylo suggested. “If our tongues are busy then our inner self esteem issues can't slip out past the tragic lack of alcohol.”

Unsurprisingly, this plan actually worked.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo was perfect. No, he was beyond perfect and bordering on the divine. Well, transcendent at least, if slightly too deviant and far too heavily tattoo’d to be considered truly godly.

How the fuck had Hux gotten so lucky? Sometimes he wondered if this was all a dream.

Feeling slightly paranoid he pinched the inside of one wrist where they were crossed behind his back. Since pain often featured in his dreams the test was inconclusive, but it did help distract him slightly.

As per Kylo’s request, Hux was stand at parade rest by the foot of the bed, watching Kylo’s every move with silent focus. It was always easy to watch Kylo. The way the muscles shifted and flexed under his tattoos, the bulk of his shoulders stretching awkwardly as he struggled to tug his shirt down arms too thick for the everyday untailored cut. Normally Hux would have moved to help him by now. After all this time it was instinct for them both to complete the tasks the other couldn’t manage, but Kylo had asked him not to move.

Roleplay wasn't entirely new to their bedroom repertoire. They'd played out any number of scenes that usually ended in some ridiculous show of strength or endurance from Kylo. But the uniform kink was something different. For a start it had basis in reality.

This wasn't just some random uniform, this was _his_ uniform, his No 1 ceremonial uniform, with the medals he'd earned during his service. He really wasn't sure he should be doing this. Not that he hadn't had sex in uniform in the past. He'd done more or less anything you could imagine both in and out of uniform with other people in the military on numerous occasions. But that had been in his service uniform, or his flight suit, and on one very memorable occasion, a tandem parachute harness and very little else.

There was something about being in ceremonial dress in this scenario that sent a guilty thrill straight to his cock. Perhaps it was the fact that it was for Kylo, who hated the military on principle but had still had to hide a semi as soon as he’d seen him.

Hux had shrugged off the day-to-day mantle of his military life easily enough. He had no authority any more, just the occasional instinctive deference that others gave him out of habit. He really hadn't thought he needed it any more. But perhaps some small megalomaniacal element of his soul was enjoying the prospect of taking command one more time.

At last Kylo stood, nude but for a startlingly red pair of silky briefs, at attention and _at attention_ before him. What a glorious thing to command.

Hux walked one slow circuit around him, regretting slightly that he didn't have a swagger stick to run down the smooth planes of perfected flesh.

Kylo wasn't dehydrated enough for that true chiseled bodybuilder look, but his recent efforts were apparent in every dip and curve of his frame. Hux was certain he'd never seen him quite so trim. How easily could he lift him now?

A tap on his shoulder and Kylo shifted his weight, fists lifting into the back variation of the classic muscleman pose. He'd never competed as a bodybuilder since he worked more for strength than technicalities, but he was still utterly delicious. It was an effort of will not to bite him.

Licking his teeth Hux made a mental note of the areas that would look the loveliest when he got the chance to cover them in bitemarks. As he walked around to the front again Kylo shifted the pose slightly to better highlight the plushness of his pecs and the eight distinct contours of his abdominals. Perhaps it would be easier to list the areas he _didn't_ want to bite. It was a very short list.

“You did this with the wedding in mind?”

“Sir, yes, Sir,” Kylo rang out with a grin on his lips. The flexing of his serratus muscles really was a sight to behold.

Hux groaned. Oh, well now. That was just heavenly. The sooner he could bury his face in all that power the better.

The strain of his erection against the fabric of his trousers made walking with authority a little difficult. He was certain he could feel Kylo smirking at him while he walked around the corner of the bed. Time to put a different look on his face.

“Come here.” Hux ordered, pointing to a spot across the corner of the mattress. The room had a wall of mirrored wardrobes. If he positioned Kylo just right… “Stop. Left knee on the bed, wider. Wider. Stop. Push the back of your briefs down. Just the back. I'll not have you smearing cum on my uniform just yet.”

Kylo shuddered, but did as he was told. Perfect.

From where he stood he could see every inch of Kylo’s back, from the tight stretch of his Achilles' tendon through to the beautiful expanse of his shoulders. Best of all- the position spread his ass just enough to reveal his hole. Which was already twitching in anticipation. Apparently Kylo had worked out what Hux meant for him to do.

“Left hand, first two fingers extended.” Hux said, holding out his own hand to catch the offered wrist. He poured a generous amount of lube over the digits, then threw the capped tube onto the sheets where he could easily reach it later. “Now, right arm across my shoulders.”

Kylo had to lean forward to reach him from there. The shift stretched his back muscles beautifully and opened him up a little more. Although Hux hadn't specified it, Kylo kept his head off the fabric of his uniform, resting it against his cheek instead.

“Prepare yourself for me.” Hux murmured into his ear, admiring the twitch of his shoulders when his breath ghosted over his skin. “Ah, no, no, you start with two, I know that lovely little hole of yours can take it.”

“Ahhhh fuuuu…” Kylo moaned at the stretch.

“Did I give you permission to speak?”

“N… No, Sir,” came the weak reply.

“Then you proceed in silence.”

Hux stood at parade rest, his fists tight against the small of his back as Kylo clung to him, almost immediately shaking and panting with each movement of his fingers.

It wasn't that they'd never done anything at all like this- Kylo enjoyed his prostate as much as Hux did- some kind of penetration was common to the long drawn out oral sessions that was Hux’ favourite method of torture. But Kylo never prepped himself and he could count on one hand the number of times Kylo had sat on his cock. Under normal circumstances he couldn't get the leverage to make it worthwhile. But for today, and however long these injections lasted, he could do as he pleased. And what pleased him was taking control. It seemed that the prospect of that had already overwhelmed his husband.

Hux shivered at the word. His husband. _His_ , forever.

“Three fingers now,” he ordered. He had to bite his lip at the way Kylo’s body spasmed and jumped against his chest as he worked the digits in. Hux knew how thick they were and what a challenge the stretch was… Kylo jumped again. “Keep doing that, mmm good… so you found the sweet spot, well, keep up that same speed and pressure until I tell you otherwise.”

Kylo whined and mouthed along his jaw. Perhaps he should be merciful.

“Kiss me,” he murmured, turning his head. He still hadn't moved his hands, wouldn't move them until Kylo couldn't support his own weight any more. Given his strength that could be awhile…

Kylo had his eyes shut as he thrust his tongue roughly into Hux’ mouth but Hux kept his open, watching the deep insistent thrusts of his hand against his glistening lube slicked ass in the mirror. The backs of his thighs were clenching with every stroke, tiny whimpers breaking past his teeth in time with his fingers.

Suddenly Kylo drew back, looking blearily into Hux’ eyes through a fog of pleasure. “Please, Sir, please may I come?”

Hux grinned. “Of course.”

The fist that had been resting against his collar spasmed as Kylo’s whole body contracted, shuddering around his fingers.

It had been a while since Hux had taken any hand-to-hand combat training courses, and he'd never really engaged with a man of Kylo’s size, but surprise and the lingering quakes of an intense prostate orgasm gave Hux the advantage he needed.

Kylo had been spun around and pressed chest down into the mattress before he could even gasp. Hux rubbed his back as he eased the slick covered fingers away from his hole.

“I’m going to fuck you now, do you consent?” Hux asked in ironic formal tones that make Kylo growl and wriggle his ass. “Ah, no acting like a cock starved monster. Look in that mirror and tell me you consent, or you get nothing.”

Kylo looked up, flicking the hair impatiently from his face only to choke when he caught sight of Hux standing behind him, his uniform dark and pristine, but for the livid red jut of his cock between the panels of his jacket. By contrast Kylo was already a sweat soaked mascara streaked mess, the front of his red briefs turned dark with more precome than they could hold. As he flexed his stomach another thin strand dripped towards the bed sheets. The answering twitch of Hux’ cock was the only outward sign that he was affected.

“Holy fuck!”

Hux slapped his ass.

“I mean, Sir, yes, Ssssahhhhh… fuck Hux…” The name vanished into a sibilant hiss as Hux pressed in, sinking half the length of his cock with a single movement.

He had to stop for a moment. It had been far too long and he was already so close. Conscientiously he leant forward, intending to free Kylo’s cock and give him some relief.

“No, don't,” Kylo panted, jolting back and seating himself a little deeper. Hux groaned and slapped him again.

“Ah, please, fuck me so I feel it for days but don't touch. I… I don't wanna come like that yet, please…Sir...”

Tangling his hand in Kylo’s hair, Hux twisted his head to face the mirror. Their eyes locked as he pulled back and slammed in hard.

The keen that Kylo let out echoed around the room, primal and hungry. Something in Hux’s chest answered. He needed to claim him, mark him, show the world who Kylo belonged to now. Wherever the hell that thought had come from it had a damn good point.

Sinking his nails into Kylo’s side he hauled him back, using both their weight to drive himself home. Kylo howled but pushed back, matching Hux’ rhythm almost instantly as if he were reading his mind.

Abruptly the sensation of a building prostate orgasm eclipsed his own thoughts. The fucker _was_ in his mind after all. Hux almost felt tempted to bite him just to ruin the climax, but it had driven his own back from the brink and if this let Kylo last longer, well…

Hux pushed forward, one knee on the mattress and fucked him through it, ignoring the begging sobbing mess that scrabbled at the sheets as another began to crest too soon.

Kylo was still projecting into his head. Perhaps he didn't know it at all. But where the last build up came as shock and knocked Hux off course, this one dragged him along for the ride. Kneeling fully on the bed now Hux watched their reflections as he pounded into twitching, constricting heat. His medals were jangling under the sound of harsh panting breaths and Kylo’s oversensitive mewling. Just one last thing would make this perfect.

“Look at me!”

Kylo looked up into the mirror as Hux surged up, driving deep as he came and sank his teeth into the tempting unscarred juncture of trapezius and deltoid. He only caught Kylo’s expression through the corner of his eye but the scream and the clenching around his cock were more than worth it.

“Ooooh my god, I love you!!!”

“I should bloody well hope so,” Hux mumbled against Kylo’s skin. He could taste blood, so he should probably be concerned, but he was momentarily too exhausted to care.

He groaned when Kylo wriggled and clenched again, pushing Hux’ softening cock out of himself. Rude.

“Undress me.”

“What?” Kylo sounded baffled and slightly aggrieved, which was fair considering he was still hard, leaking cum from his ass, and blood from his shoulder- but Major Hux was not terribly fair.

He shuffled back to stand by the bed, arms outstretched with a smug smile on his face, like some Edwardian lord.

“Undress me.”

“You utter bastard.”

“Do you want to come? Properly? Then undress me... I promise you’ll like it.”

Kylo growled but swung down off the bed anyway, carefully striping away the layers of the surprisingly unspoiled uniform and hanging them in the proper places with a wave of his hand. It was clear that Kylo was far too gone to move any further than he already had- the soaked fabric of his briefs looked to be stretched painfully across his cock. Perhaps he could try a little mercy. The shoes Hux decided to toe out of himself, neither of them much wanting to bend so far.

Finally naked Hux stepped forward to begin the next step of his plan only to squeak as Kylo leant forward to bite viciously at his collarbone. He felt teeth breaking skin and moaned.

“Now we're even,” Kylo purred, melodramatically licking his lips.

“No, not yet,” Hux said.

Lightning fast he reached out and tore the side seam of Kylo’s briefs. The other side followed and Kylo was being pushed back onto the mattress while the larger man was still complaining about the cost. He stopped with a gulp as Hux crawled up to straddle his hips.

“Are you…”

This they had never done. Hux had never been able to tolerate the angle of his knees but he grinned reassuring as he reached back and lined Kylo up.

“Oooh Hux… Donal, I love you so fucking much...” Kylo whined as the very tip slipped in.

Hux was woefully under stretched but neither of them would last long now anyway. His own cock was begrudgingly hard, clearly objecting to the prospect of coming again so soon but overruled by a brain that had never been so turned on in his life.

Haltingly Kylo threaded their fingers together, gripping both of Hux’ hands hard enough to hurt as he bounced gently down onto his length.

Hux had wanted to knead at Kylo’s chest and tease his sensitive nipples, but he'd expected Kylo to be in his second wind, not arching back into the mattress and chanting ‘don't come, don't come’ at the ceiling. He'd have to save that for later. Give it half an hour or so.

“Get back inside my mind.” Hux gasped when he finally took as much as he dared. It was less than half. Kylo just peered at him, still chanting his litany against orgasm. “You're not going to last and I don't want to- get back in my head and we’ll come together.”

The noise Kylo made was less than human but the connection reopened, love and joy and adoration pouring into Hux’ mind in a wave that almost drowned the rising tide of pleasure.

He lifted off. “Kylo Ren…” And dropped back down, gasping so hard his chest hurt. “I love you, ah,” Another thrust. Kylo looked almost delirious with the feedback loop of affection. “More than anything,” Another, fingers gripping tight enough almost to snap, bodies trembling, and nothing else in the world beyond each other… “My husband.”

Kylo almost bucked him off when he finally, finally came. There was a moment of panic, still linked hands scrabbling at thighs to keep Hux in place as he filled him, so deep inside that it ached.

Something seemed to leave the room then, some void of pain that had been there for so long they didn’t really sense it anymore. It wasn’t filled, but it was soothed, the jagged edges healing soft and shiny and full of promise.

“Husband.” Kylo said it like a benediction. “Husband.” Some kind of blessing when Hux was pulled forward onto his chest. “Husband.” A gift that somehow led Hux not to mind that the come he hadn’t even realised he’d splashed across Kylo’s belly was now cooling between them. “Husband.” A promise as warm sheets were pulled over them both.

Soon it would be time for showers and proper wound care, backrubs and hopefully much much more sex but for now they were content to float in a shared headspace of mutual adoration. They were safe. They were cherished. They were one.

* * *

“We should wake the others and get breakfast,” Kylo murmured against the dimples at the base of Donal’s spine. When Hux had become his pillow he didn’t know but it was an excellent idea. He’d have to do it more often.

“Mmmm yeah, what time is… ah shit! It’s nearly 11am, we have to check out!!” Any attempt Hux made to get out of bed was halted by the immovable object across his back.

“Huh, there’s an envelope on the carpet,” Kylo said without concern. He’d been thrown out of plenty of hotels- after the seventh or eighth time the event had quite lost its ability to worry him.

“Who cares, get off m…”

Hux was cut off with a hand across his mouth, the other pulling the letter up from the carpet. It was so handy not to have to get up unless he absolutely had to, Kylo thought as he tore at the paper.

 

> “Hi guys, it’s 10am and we’re going to get breakfast.
> 
> Poe and Finn slept in my room (nothing happened!) because your marathon sex session was making them feel inadequate (don’t tell them I said that!).
> 
> If you can walk by 6pm the Commandant got us a table at SW. This place has $300 waigu and he says we can order whatever we want on his tab so, you know, if you don’t show up for $300 steak I’m disowning you. No pressure.
> 
> By the way Donal’s grandpa booked you in that suite for the rest of the week so don’t worry about rushing out of bed (except for the steak).
> 
> Also I know you said not to tell your parents, but they’re out of the country and can’t get back even if they wanted to, so I did. If you want to fight about it I’ll meet you on the Treasure Island ship at dawn. Anyway, please find enclosed two all expenses paid tickets to some resort in  Nicaragua. They both say congratulations and they wish they could be here. I think Han cried. Whatever you think about that- free honeymoon.
> 
> In conclusion- get out of bed by 6pm, wear something fancy.
> 
> Love, Rey
> 
> PS - $300 STEAK”

Silence filled the room, seeping in from the edges until it hung like a cloud of cotton over everything.

“Hey,” Hux said softly, “wanna take a shower with me?”

Yes. Yes he did.

**Author's Note:**

> [There's a playlist for the karaoke](https://open.spotify.com/user/phantoms-siren/playlist/0sRzjBMnFRfeQkeVbaum2h), hit me up on [Tumblr](creepycreepyspacewizard.tumblr.com) if you want to add any other songs :)


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